Our Final Thoughts on Vietnam

He Said….

So it has been 5 weeks well spent in a country of my origin. For me it has been a trip with mixed emotions, as there were times when I was overwhelmed by both the family and cultural richness, but also inundated by great frustration and anger.

The trip started out with much anticipated family reunion including Rav’s and Krista’s first ever trip to Viet Nam and meeting the extended family. As well, the Blundell’s long awaited return to the City of Hai Phong. There we spent 12 days with the family in celebration of Tet (the Vietnamese New Year celebration). This portion of the trip was solely dedicated to family matters as mom, dad, Derek, and I along with the Blundells reacquainted ourselves with the massive family in Hai Phong, it was also an opportunity for Rav and Krista to get to know the family and taste the food and learn a little Vietnamese. The days in Hai Phong were mainly spent eating, drinking, laughing, and communicating through translation. Although sometimes the meaning may have been lost in translation, the overall meaning was mutually understood. It must have been hard for the girls at times, when they were not part of the conversation. All in all, I think that everyone who was there felt overwhelmed by the generosity and love shown by the family in Hai Phong. We left Hai Phong with a heavy heart as it may have been the last time we will see our grand parents. Life is full of joy and sorrow, and this very fact has made me realize just how important it is to treat those around you with love, compassion and respect as they will not be there forever.

As Derek, Krista, Rav and I settled in Ha Noi, we saw another side of Vietnam that we were not particularly fond of. The hustle and bustle of the big city life and the interaction with society opened our eyes to the Viet Nam that we had only heard of. Our first hand experiences had seasoned us for the rest of the trip. With a good grasp of the language we left confident to venture on our own. The constant bargaining, and fear of being cheated made us very aware of the economic reality that exists in Viet Nam.

From young to old, it appeared that everyone was out to make as much as they could from you. This occurred not only in the major cities, but throughout all corners of the country. At first I was frustrated, angry, and ashamed, as I could not figure out just why the same people that had so much love and compassion for each other within the family could be so cold and cunning in society. This is a true point of conflict for me as it did not fit into the overall nature of the people that I thought I knew.

I walked along side both the young and the old as we traversed through tough terrain to pray for prosperity, luck, good fortunes, health and happiness. These same people are the ones that will at an instance try take advantage of me as best they can. I spent many hours contemplating this very conundrum.

As we waited for the bus to Nha Trang, a young girl could not have been more than 6 or 7 came up to us offering to sell some necklaces. At this point in the trip we had been approached a hundred times to buy post cards, necklaces, books, Zippos, and a million other things that we had no interest in buying, but there was something different about this incident. We all refused as we usually did and the look on her face was one of shear sadness, a sadness that I had never seen before from the people selling on the streets. I watched as she walked off down the street. My eyes followed her as she met her awaiting father on a bike up the street. She hopped on the bike and they rode pass us. My eyes fixed on them, I noticed that the father never once looked in our direction. He turned his face away from us staring at the stores across the street from where we were standing as if he was looking at these shops for the first time. Only after he had passed a few shops from us did his face turn to face the streets again. It was then I realized that their aggressive selling, bartering, and persistence is a means to an end.

Here is a young girl whom should have been playing or in bed at this time of night but instead was out on the streets with her father trying to make a living for her family. I can only guess that the entire family must have spent the day together making these necklaces in hopes of selling enough for the day’s meal. I was quiet sadden by this realization and now have a new outlook on why they behave this way in public. They do so out of need, they do so to survive. Above all this, they do so to provide and contribute to the family, which is inherently the most important thing to them. It is their way of making a living to show the love and admiration that they share with their family, like the ones that my family shared with us.

She Said…

How do you express in words the emotions and feelings you have after being in a country so diverse and rich in culture as Vietnam for 5 ½ weeks. Before we came to Vietnam, I didn’t know what to expect of the country or know what my experiences would be like and now that my time here has come to an end, I can say I am taking a wealth of memories and experiences (both good and bad) back home with me.

First and foremost, Chris’ family in Hai Phong are the people who made this trip so wonderful for all of us and particularly for me. They opened their homes and hearts to me like I was one of their own. From day one at the airport, where there was a bus load to greet and pick us up to the very last day, every single family member, old and young, expressed their love and kindness to me. Although at the beginning, there were times when language was a bit of a barrier for me, I came to quickly learn, the barriers you are faced with are as large or small as you make them out to be and found it more of a blessing than an obstacle later as I was given the opportunity to learn a new language. In addition to some of the basic Vietnamese phrases I had picked up from Chris before we left, I have learned a lot from being around the Bui/Chung family during our stay there. Everyone was eager to teach me new words and would be thrilled whenever I would use new phrases out of the blue and vice versa, they were very willing to try and learn English and practice with me. Being with the family and staying with them was a true experience. They bring a new meaning to the word “family”. Everyone takes care of one another and the love and warmth they feel for one another is clearly seen in their actions towards one another. It touched my heart to see this and be able to be a part of it. The best part for me about staying with the family was seeing Chris interact with his family. I have not seen much of this side to Chris since his parents are in Nanaimo and his brother is in Bella Bella but to be able to see it now with the ENTIRE family was a true gift to me. I now know where Chris gets his kindness, generosity and huge heart.

Being able to meet Ong (Grandpa) and Ba (Grandma) was also very touching. Chris’ grandparents are in their early 90s and quite frail. His grandmother is blind and his grandfather is paralyzed on the left side. Despite these hardships, both grandparents knew who Chris and Derek were and were very open to meeting me. I remember the first time I met Ong…he held my hand and just kept looking at me. I could tell he wanted to express himself to me but couldn’t. He told Chris once to apologize to me because he was not able to express his thoughts and feelings to me in a language I could understand. It was so disheartening to hear that but oh so thoughtful at the same time. It was at that precise moment that I made a decision and goal for myself – to take Vietnamese lessons at night school when I return so that I can go back in 3 years to Vietnam and be able to speak to the entire family in their native tongue.

We were thoroughly spoiled in Hai Phong as the family would cook for us at all times and not let us do anything. They would take us places and make sure we were taken care of the entire time. This made leaving Hai Phong very difficult but it was something we had to do so we could explore the rest of the country.

The rest of the trip throughout the country has been good and bad. Good in the sense that I have learned so much about the history and culture of Vietnam and its people and bad in the sense that we have been thrown around for a loop on several occasions by people who are just trying to make money off of us. It was difficult to experience this shortly after our departure from Hai Phong as we were so accustomed to being taken care of but a good learning experience for all of us (Derek, Krista, Chris and I) as it brought us back to the reality that not everyone is going to be honest and good natured towards us.

I could talk about everything I have seen in Vietnam and my favorite sites but that would be repetitive of our blogger site which I know you have all read so I will omit that section of my thoughts.

I leave this country with a bit of sadness though as I have seen the richness of the country through what it has to offer culturally and historically but I have also seen the poorness of the country through its people. The Vietnamese are hard working individuals who do what they have to do to make money (and most of the time it’s not much) to support their families. This means LONG hours, lots of hard labour and continued attempts at selling things that sometimes they know they probably won’t be able to sell. Whether it’s selling photocopied Lonely Planet books, selling food at road side stalls or riding a cyclo/motorbike, these people are determined to do what it takes to make a living. The one thing that impresses me more than all of this is that despite the situations they are placed in, most, if not all, Vietnamese people are the happiest people I have met. Yes, most of them are not financially wealthy and work ten times harder than most of us and make a tenth of what we make (if even that) but still I would say they are 100 times happier than most people. That is what baffles me. It seems the people who have it the hardest are the most happiest with their lives whereas those who have it all are sometimes the most miserable. One of those things that just makes you think about your own life and makes you that much more appreciative of what you have.

Well, I guess I should wrap it up here as Chris is dying to go and eat dinner….

The above is just a small synopsis of my feelings and thoughts on Vietnam; it would take me much longer to fully write down what I have experienced here. Yes, we have pictures and stories to share with all of our friends and family back home but for me, what I am taking with me in my heart and mind are the images that I will cherish forever.

Tomorrow we are off on a 6am bus to Cambodia….until then, we’re signing off…

Bye Bye Vietnam..How long is it to Cambodia anyways??