While Rav and I were in Germany uniting with my uncle (my father’s little brother), we had received news from the family in Vietnam that our beloved grandmother had taken a turn for the worst. She had been steadily losing the battle with diabetes for quite some time now, and her inevitable departure from all of us was only a matter of time. The continued progression of this degenerative disease led to many complications in the last few years of her life. Despite the physical limitations, she retained her wit and mental health during the course of her battle with the disease. Every member of the family in Vietnam made both grandparents’ health the first priority and contributed in which ever way they could. Their attentiveness and meticulous thoughtfulness have helped prolong the life of both grandparents. All the love and yearning that this family has could not keep my grandmother from leaving all of us though.
My grandmother was on a sojourn of her own - a reunification with that of Heaven and Earth. Even though her physical condition was no longer functional, her spirit held on knowing that her daughter was on her way home to pay her last respects. On her bed she peacefully laid, motionless waiting with barely a pulse or breath, for my mother’s return. She waited while my mother’s flight back to Vietnam was being arranged, while the Vietnam visa was being processed and the physical distance traveled. She waited for four days. On June 19th, my mom came home to a house of tears, silence broken only by the sobbing of siblings and loved ones surrounding the foot of the bed. My mother paid her respects to my grandmother thanking her for all that she had done for the family. As my mother concluded her last words to my grandmother, my grandmother opened her eyes twice, took her last breath and left us. The family here says that, my grandmother waited making sure that all of her children were home safe and sound before leaving. They also say that she opened her eyes to let my mother know that she knew and heard everything that my mom had said.
As for us, we were in mid flight when my grandmother left this world. We came home the following night in time for the funeral the next day. We awoke early that morning as friends and family came by to pay their respects. Throughout the day, sadness overcame me periodically and the sense of loss was overwhelming, but as quickly as it came it would subside to a feeling of peacefulness. I noticed that was not only happening with me but with all of the loved ones as well. I think that my grandmother’s spirit was touching each one of us individually at different times that day. The family here dealt with this loss extremely well; perhaps it is the knowledge and acceptance that this day is unavoidable, and their previous preparations for this day has helped us accept this loss.
It has been well over a week now since the funeral, and the daily prayers here at the house will continue for another 6 weeks until the 49th day after her passing as tradition goes. Life here in Vietnam at the Bui house hold seems to slowly be getting back to normal with each passing day. Stories of my grandmother are still being told the old fashion way when we all gather in the evenings. We have been really fortunate to be able to be here with the family to share in this loss and to reacquaint ourselves with those that we had connected with during our visit in January. Our time here is running out as we will be leaving Vietnam for Germany in 4 days time.
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